Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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