i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
