you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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