I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
