with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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