You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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