I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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