Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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