If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
