I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
