we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
why is half of my head shaved?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
