belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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