in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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