During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
