Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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(516): View more from New York

Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites

(1-516): View more from New York

Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?

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(847): View more from Illinois

why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

and i looked up. we had an audience...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye

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(760): View more from California

Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.

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(415): View more from California

Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?

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