No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
