i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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