You made me cry and you don't even care
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
