I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
