Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
