maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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