Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Your cock deserves a montage
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
