ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
