It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
