my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
