I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
