just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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