But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
