we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
