it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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