just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
