i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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