then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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