What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
