i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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