but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
