Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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