Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
