i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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