Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
