ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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