You really coming over, don't trick.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
