Only a mothe r could love this liver
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize