tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
