i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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