You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
