he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
