I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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