Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
