so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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