Just fell off a train. Bad.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
