giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
