If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
