this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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