Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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