how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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