he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
