He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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