Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
