Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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