I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
