ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
